Cheating death and fighting communism: that is how a fellow officer once described our job.  It was meant to be funny, but as time went on it seemed all too true.
I spent more than ten years in law enforcement, all of it on the street in uniform patrol.  I've been a patrol officer, instructor, sergeant and lieutenant. 
Do not report crimes here. Nothing here should be considered legal advice. All opinions are my own.
                             I'm unclear on your situation, and it is a civil matter regardless.  Your best bet is to contact a family law attorney and talk to him or her.
He will likely have to initiate court proceedings if he wants to obtain parental rights of a child born out of wedlock.  On the other hand, if you are trying to obtain child support from him, you would likely need to start court proceedings.
None of this is legal advice, and you should really contact a family law attorney. 
                          
No idea - What's a 'beep test'?
I'm guessing there is more to this story.
Run for the office during the next general election. Becoming a deputy is a little easier, and you should contact the local department and inquire about employment if you would like to give that a go.
Bracketologist
Why have there been so many 15-2 upsets, but no 16-1's? 
                                        
                                        
                                             Private Detective
Waitress
Are you instructed to "push" certain menu items that are at risk of going bad? 
                                        
                              
                             Laws in different states dictate what actions may be required of a police officer, but in general terms he or she would talk to you and try to determine if there was some way to help you.  In some cases, a police officer may be required to take a suicidal person to a hospital or other medical facility if the person poses a risk to anyone.  
If you or someone you know is depressed or suicidal, there are people who can help.  Call 1-800-273-8255 from anywhere in the US and they can provide assistance.  Alternatively anyone can go to a hospital an explain that they are having some problems and need help. 
                          
                             It would appear that your husband has a serious addiction, and is not taking responsibility for his actions.  Hopefully he hasn't killed or maimed anyone yet, and will not have to opportunity to do so in the future.
Ask his attorney for legal advice, not me. 
                          
Depends on the department. Cocaine and ecstacy are serious drugs and can have serious long-term consequences on your brain. I would suggest contacting the department(s) you are insterested in applying to and speak to one of the recruiters about your situation. Any department would require a long interval (several years at least) between hiring and your last use of the drug.
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