Jordan
Toronto, ON
Female, 28
Space Waitress, Trolley Dolly, Stewardess...everyone has their own term for us. We are the baby-sitters, life-savers, servers, cleaners and all-around problem solvers for any and every in-flight issue. Sometimes we get a bad rep for being apathetic and miserable despite having what looks like a glamorous job, so here's a peek into the gritty details beneath the shiny surface to explain why the job - though incredible in lots of ways - is more than just snappy uniforms and matching luggage.
I think the idea of hooking up with a flight attendant is alluring to guys, and maybe even exotic, until you actually step on a plane and realize you're surrounded by screaming children, tense travelers, and the occasional person vomiting. It's not exactly your typical bar scene (well, maybe that last part is... ). In fact, I think I get propositioned more when I'm in uniform on my way to and from the airport than on the plane itself. Go figure. That said, some passengers show an interest and act on it, but it's not too common. Here's what I've seen, from the playing-it-safe approach to downright inappropriate: A note addressed to the flight attendant containing contact info. Meanwhile the passenger has fled the plane without so much as a "hello". Recommended for the super-shy admirer. A popular move is to casually hand over a business card, typically while exiting the plane and the flight attendant is doing the "Thanks, buh-bye!" part of her routine. Men that are a little bolder will corner the flight attendant in the galley after service under the guise of asking for a drink or waiting for the washroom, but really they want to add them to Facebook and brag about the album they just recorded. Older men get away with bum-pinching and inviting girls to sit on their lap. Dirty scoundrels. What it boils down to is this: if you're really confident and make a blatant attempt to pick up the flight attendant and get shot down, you're trapped for potentially hours of awkwardness before you can escape into the airport. It's pretty tricky to find the opportune moment to strike up a conversation with a flight attendant since there's inevitably a captive audience and it's easy to get in the way . Conversely, I have co-workers who love to pick up passengers on flights and in some cases end up dating or even marrying them. I myself however, haven't been single since starting this job but based on what I've seen I'd have more luck finding a good date on the ground!
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I wish I could provide some juicy stories to answer your question but sadly, the airline I work for does not offer first class. So I'll just say this, I've seen passengers with all shapes and sizes of bank accounts and there's no rule for who is going to treat me best, although wealthier folks do tend to be lower maintenance. But what it really comes down to is a person's attitude. If someone marches on the plane with a sense of entitlement I can guarantee we won't get along because they've forgotton I'm there for their safety, not to fetch their slippers. On the other hand, guests who are polite and appreciative will have me bend over backwards for them whether they want the world on a silver platter or just to be left alone, and I'm willing to bet that there's no correlation between the two behaviours and the price of the ticket. Maybe one day we'll introduce first class and I'll be singing a new tune, but until then I can assure you that manners are something money can't buy!
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You're completely right! Alcohol has got to be the number one cause of passengers getting out of hand - in my experience at least - and yet I've never once heard it suggested that we remove the bars from our inflight service. My guess is that the sale of alcohol is too big of a money-maker to do away with it completely, and that it's a case of not letting the few unruly people spoil the fun for the majority of guests who can handle their liquor responsibly. Airlines, like restaurants, have liquor licenses, and ours restricts us from serving alcohol on the ground and between certain hours. We do try to monitor alcohol consumption quite closely onboard by not serving doubles, communicating to other crew members how many drinks have been served to guests, and not being shy when it comes to cutting someone off. And don't even think about drinking the booze you bought in the airport duty-free store because we will hunt you down and pour that precious $10 bottle of tequila right down the bathroom drain faster than you can say "Ole!" My one soft spot is for nervous flyers who pound back shots in the boarding lounge so that the flight will pass in a blurry haze, but even they have to be denied boarding if they're too drunk because you never know how someone will behave under the influence and nobody wants Dr. Jekyll turning into Mr. Hyde at 40,000ft.
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Like most people, I saw Steven Slater as a bit of a hero for acting on impulses that probably every person who works in customer service can relate to once in a while. Hearing about his impomptu exit from the plane made me cheer inwardly the same way I did during that scene in Office Space when the guys destroy the fax machine. The fact that he grabbed a couple beers on his way out is the icing on the cake. However! The safety-conscious flight attendant part of me was dumbfounded that any crew member in their right mind (or even slightly out of it) would open an aircraft door and intentionally blow a slide for any reason other than an emergency evacuation. A huge emphasis during our training is put on the handling of aircraft doors because those inflatable slides are fast and powerful enough to harm and even kill someone if engaged improperly. If we so much as arm the doors incorrectly we get written up, re-trained and disciplined. On top of that, I wonder if Steven stopped to consider whether the engines were running, or noticed the proximity of other planes in the vicinity before fleeing the cabin... it's a seriously risky choice to jump out of the plane, which is why if someone's driving me crazy on a flight I walk away and ask another crew member to deal with it until I've cooled off. And then I grab a couple of beers - at the hotel!
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Ouch - you don't mince words, do you? Well you've just opened a can of worms by touching upon one of the most contentious issues among flight crews aside from scheduling - uniforms! We love to hate them, and no two people agree on how they should look. Some employees take great pride in looking polished and will tailor and dry clean their ensembles to perfection. Others put comfort first and prefer not to invest money in a wardrobe they never liked to begin with. But regardless of what us common people think I can guarantee that blood, sweat and tears are poured into each decision on a corporate level so what you see on your flight attendants is no accident. There are several criteria a uniform should meet. Crew members must be easily identifiable for obvious reasons like emergencies, or gaining access to restricted areas, just to name a few.. This might explain why some iconic uniform features such as epaulets and neck scarves have such staying power, though some airlines have strayed from the norm (with varying success). Uniforms need to be durable, comfortable, allow freedom of movement, and offer some degree of protection to hazards found on the job. Inspiring confidence and respect in the passengers is always a plus - it's amazing the things people assume I know the minute I step into my little suit! Affordability is another key factor, though some airlines take the cost of the uniform out of an employee's pay. And yes, ideally a uniform will look good too, which is why there's no shortage of fashion designers who have been commissioned to collaborate with airlines to create a look that reflects the colours and culture of the company while still looking fresh and (somewhat) stylish. The sad truth is that in many countries there are laws that prevent airlines from only hiring the young, thin and pretty to model uniforms and the result is people of all shapes and sizes struggling to fit into a single outfit. It's like dressing a thousand bridesmaids. So if you see a crew of elegant flight attendants in perfect formation, chances are their airline has yet to update their code of ethics in the workplace! The stories you hear of girls getting fired for gaining weight, getting married, or that pesky thing called aging are true. And one more thing and then I promise to shut up - our uniforms may be unattractive but it's all relative. Compared to bus drivers, nurses, police officers, and fast food employees, our uniforms aren't half bad. Please just don't expect us to look like a Halloween costume version of ourselves!
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I have to be honest with myself... Yes, it does annoy me, because 9 times out of 10 the passenger is just impatient and treats it like a speed dial to his personal bartender, or they mistakenly hit it while trying to turn on their reading light. If you are ill or you spill something or see smoke or are being harrassed, yes, hit your call button! But if you just want to know which city we're flying over, try to wait til one of us walks by and give us a wave (notice I said wave, no grabbing or snapping fingers unless you really want to piss us off). I know we're prickly about it, and I admit they do serve a purpose, but I think people would be a lot more selective about why they used it if they had a call button at their workplace too. Oh and by the way, that city we flew over? No idea. Flight attendants don't look out the window much!
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Sometimes I think airplane food has such a bad rep that it can never redeem itself, though I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a lost cause. It can be pretty disastrous though, so why is that? Well, for one thing, there are endless variables that determine what gets offered on your flight. Does the product have a long shelf life? How much does it weigh and how much galley/bin space does it require? Is it available at all our bases? How can we maintain food safety guidelines at 40,000 ft? The multi-million dollar question is how much will it cost, and will it be worth it? If a ticket on one airline costs $50 more than the competitor, but their food is better, who will you choose? There's an infamous story passed around about American Airlines saving tens of thousands of dollars by removing a single olive from each of their first class salads. While I don't know the truth behind the rumour, it's a pretty accurate message about today's economic climate. With fuel prices and aiport taxes skyrocketing right now, inflight food is more of a casualty than a priority. In the case of my airline, we opt to not carry ovens or microwaves due to the weight and subsequent fuel costs. Instead we have caterers in cities across the country who provide us with local cold meals. It's terribly difficult to anticipate what each passenger needs so unfortunately people with dietary restrictions (vegetarian, gluten intolerance, etc) can get overlooked. Even when the airline tries to accommodate guests with healthy options, they don't sell well and end up costing more money than they make. Given the choice between a chocolate bar and an organic tahini bar, 99 times out of 100 people go for the chocolate. (I am one of those 99 people) I think airlines are trying to adapt to a modern consumer in a very competitive market while still turning a profit. You'll notice you get fewer freebies and more buy-on-board options, to mitigate spoilage. Instead of being offered a tray of unidentifiable meat and pasta, you may see individual sized packages of familiar brand snacks. As technology advances I hope that tailoring your flight with personalized meals will become more commonplace. I know it's not great, but don't give up on us yet! Also don't be shy about packing snacks for the ride... just in case ;)
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