TiredTeacher
NY Metro Area, NJ
Female, 37
I teach English to 11th grade inner city students. I love my students and do whatever I can to help them succeed, which is quite a mission. These kids face obstacles most of us cannot even imagine: gangs, incarcerated parents, domestic violence and much more. Everyday I read journal entries that would curl your toes...and often I feel I compromise my ethics to get these kids to pass, which I am very conflicted about. Many pass who, frankly, should not.
Teen pregnancies are way too prevalent. Last year I had four freshman girls who were pregnant. The problem lies in the culture of the community. Because it is accepted and not frowned upon, it can almost be a "right of passage" in families. Despite the immense efforts of our administration to try and curtail this, you will still see girls who you would least expect, become pregnant. Many of these girls' mothers were having babies before age 16, so the cycle still has not stopped. Many kids are amazed that I have only one son, and that I had him in my 30's. It's unfathomable based on how I grew up, but you have to remember the mindset in their community is totally different, and unfortunately, doesn't seem to be on the decline. It's frustrating, to say the least. Last year I had a top student, interning at a hospital to become a nurse, working two jobs to save money for college, become pregnant. She was almost 6 months pregnant before she would come to me and admit that she was. Naturally I was devastated, but what could I do? It just is what it is, I wish I could change things; I try to speak to my girls and they nod their heads in agreement, but then it happens.
No Child Left Behind is and was a disasterous program. I am a firm believer that if a student does not deserve to move on to the next grade, then he/she should not. Because of the wide array of reading/learning levels that students possess, some are, frankly, not able to keep up, despite the attempts we make. We end up "teaching to the test" and relinquishing our creativity and ability to be the best we can be. We are becoming Stepford teachers, following specific directions and requirements by our administrators, instead of using our good judgment and innate sense of what is right for the kids. People don't realize what goes into a typical day in school. My classes are huge, with different abilities, behaviors and issues. Today I was actually crying in school, both from exhaustion and frustration! And it's only September. NCLB definitely affects teachers at the high school level because it disables the teachers' trust in themselves as qualified educators. This year my state waived NCLB and I, for one, am doing the happy dance because there was nothing positive I can say about it. I recently saw Tony Danza on TV talking up his book about being a teacher in Philadelphia. Yeah, Tony Danza. He gets to write a book and talk about the difficulties and hardships of being a "teacher." But if it brings attention to what we do on a daily basis in the trenches, then I guess it's a good thing. But, uh, Tony Danza??????
Unfortunately, there have been several. One journal entry concerned a girl who was cutting herself and was at the point where she pleaded for help (we did get her help). Another dealt with a male student who missed his dad who was in jail for drug dealing. (it's amazing how forgiving these kids are...they often declare their love despite what a parent or sibling has done). But probably the most shocking entry concerned a girl who was getting sexually abused by her uncle, and was afraid to tell anyone because he was helping the mom with the bills. Many girls in my school have issues with sexual abuse by a family member, which is the most shocking to me. Once we find out, of course, we are compelled to contact social services, although some beg us not to. There are days I come home so depressed and deflated that many of the kids fall through the cracks and we may never know what is truly going on at home. Some students have even asked me to come live with me, their situations at home are so dire. From the first day of school we talk about expressing our feelings and how their entries are "safe" with me; however, I do stress that if I read something that requires some sort of intervention, then I will do that. They are very open and safe at school, sometimes the only place they do feel safe. I wish I could save them all.
I'm not sure about that, but if we do get a higher salary, it's not by much. High schools in more suburban, wealthy districts probably make about the same as we do.
Navy Officer (Former)
Why do so many people miss the military after they get out?Toll Collector
What happens when a car blows past a tollbooth without paying?Help Desk Technician
Are people appreciative when you help them or do they just treat you like a support monkey?I have never been physically threatened or attacked by a kid I didn't pass, rather the other way around. If a student crosses the line, as has happened quite a few times, then I will fail them. Just this past summer, in summer school, a student called me an obscenity and not only did I kick her out of summer school, but she automatically failed. (she had been spoken to a number of times and was given multiple chances to get her act together). When teaching these kids, you tend to let things slide sometimes, depending on their personal situations and their frame of mind, but fortunately my school takes threats VERY seriously and will not tolerate a teacher ever feeling unsafe, which has happened to me. (Now you know why I'm sooo tired, lol!) There have been instances where a student is acting irresponsibly or inappropriately and until you find out why, it's better not to jump to conclusions. For example, a very cranky student came into class exhausted every day and always had his head on his desk; it turns out that drug dealers had taken over his building and he was afraid to close his eyes at night. Some of the situations are unimaginable, but that's what keeps me motivated to help them as much as I can!
A couple of books come to mind: "The Pact", a book about three young men who got out of the Newark, NJ slums to become successful doctors. It is a wonderful book that not only reveals the power of friendship, but gives the reader hope and inspiration about three men who overcame all odds to become successful and educated. Not only that, but they choose to give back to their community which resonates with me. Another book they love is "Angela's Ashes," by Frank McCourt, that tells about the journey of a young boy, growing up in abject poverty in Limerick, Ireland, and comes to America to become a successful high school English teacher and ultimately a Pulitzer Prize-winning author. The kids really relate to these types of inspriational tomes; they sometimes forget that there are other people out there living in the same situations they do, who manage to stay focused to forge ahead to not play the victim and do something special with their lives!
Our school does not give self-defense instruction to teachers. When I first started here, I carried mace in my purse. I never used it and eventually threw it out. I have been in school first thing in the morning and very late at night and have never felt unsafe there. The neighborhood is very run down and creepy and you have to be careful where you walk if you want to get a coffee or a slice of pizza, but inside the school is actually very safe. Kids probably feel safer there than anywhere else. When I tell people where I teach their reaction is usually "are you crazy?" but believe me when I tell you I never feel threatened, unsafe or scared. There are so many good kids that they don't want to feel scared, either. The "thuggish" kids usually are expelled before they can cause any real issues.
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