Suicide Hotline Manager
CantSay, US
Female, 0
I supervise and train telephone operators for a suicide hotline. In addition to answering phones myself, I am also available when questions about protocol come up or if a phone operator is having trouble dealing with the emotions being expressed by a caller. Like many non-profits, we are now in danger of being shut down because of budget cuts.
Different hotlines have different purposes. Some will directly connect a caller with a therapist or have someone go to their home. Other hotlines are strictly there for directive-free emotional support in the moment and will invite the caller to call back again whenever they feel the need to do so. You can do some research online before choosing which hotline to contact. It can be frustrating to be seeking a comforting ear and have someone instead giving you a referral, and vice versa.
As far as I know, this has never happened in the years I have been with the hotline. There are times when a caller hangs up and you feel like they are in serious danger, that nothing you have said has gotten through and that really they just wanted to hear one last voice. We have, however, then heard from many of those callers again, which is of course always reassuring. One of the toughest things is that when the call ends you don’t know what really happens.
It varies and not all calls last more than a few minutes, but typically about 200-300 calls per day.
I can't go into any specifics because of confidentially. The people with the reasons that would sound the most ridiculous were the people who were the most severely ill. A small slight or disappointment can appear to a schizophrenic or person with a personality disorder as a really traumatic event. When you hear how upset someone is about something that you, as a stranger, can guess happened very differently or didn't happen at all, it's honestly just really sad that this person suffers from such intense delusions that cause him or her so much pain.
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How can you tell if a fire was arson?From what we have noticed at our hotline, volume does not increase, but people do talk about it. It seems that hearing about suicide does not suddenly get people thinking about suicide for the first time. It does give them a focus, though, for what they have been going through and it can be a great starting point for a seemingly impossible conversation to have. The same goes for natural disasters and other high profile tragedies. Callers don't for the first time realize that the world is a difficult and overwhelming place for them. It gives them a concrete place to begin an overwhelming train of thought.
Different hotlines have different policies. There are some that will trace the caller and intercede even if the caller doesn't want that. Other hotlines are completely anonymous and will only send help if specifically requested by the caller. This information is available on the hotlines' websites. One thing to consider is that if you call an anonymous hotline but then provide information on your intentions and locations, there is a legal obligation to report it to the police.
The callers vary widely in age. On occasion we hear from pre-teens or teenagers, which is always notable. Most of our callers are adults, with probably the majority of them being elderly.
My take on suicide in general is that there is almost always a strong chance that life will improve. I've spoken to a number of people at the hotline who called to thank us because having a lifeline stopped them from committing suicide, which they now realize would have been the wrong choice for them. I've also spoken to those left behind by suicide and heard them describe the pain their loved one's actions have caused them. Suicide obliterates any chance to experience a better future and leaves a trail of damage in its wake. Ultimately, however, suicide is an individual right and along with that right should come the option of ending one's life in a painless manner. With something like an chronically painful, untreatable disease I particularly understand the decision to end that suffering and I see why a doctor should be allowed to assist the individual. I do wonder, though, if we openly acknowledge suicide as a culturally acceptable option whether it will potentially encourage those who might have held on longer to end their lives instead. It's a complex issue obviously and one that I have great ambivalence about despite my "insider's position".
We try to foster open communication on the lines and behind the scenes. There is lot of chatting with operators when they come on shift and serious discussion if something distracting is going on in their lives. We respect our operators and would not tell someone they had to go home early if they felt capable of handling their emotions, but we are vigilant in ensuring our callers receive the best service and will check in regularly throughout the shift to make sure they are not taking on more than they can handle.
We do get calls like that and they brighten up everyone's day. We really care about our callers and, aside from feeling good because of positive feedback, we are genuinely happy for them when life begins to improve.
It’s impossible not to become emotionally invested in some callers, but it only makes you want to stay longer. When you hear the sadness in someone’s voice, it makes it hard not to give more and more. You start to see how it affects your outside life, the patience you find for people you would normally ignore, the sympathy you feel for the tragedies you would have previously done your best to overlook. Over time you learn to deal with the emotions that come from listening to sadness all day long. You compartmentalize it so that you can go home and still have a good night and so that you don’t bring your emotions onto a call. The call should always be about what the caller is going through, not what you’re dealing with.
There are a fair number of people who realize early on that this isn't the right sort of work for them. On the other hand, there are people who stay with it for decades. Like many jobs it's about the right fit, but because of the seriousness of the work you quickly realize that you're not the only one who will be affected if you are not performing at your best.
There are a ton of crucial non-for-profits that are in danger or have been closed since the recession started. The mentally ill generally don't vote, don't earn enough to pay high taxes, require a number of costly social services, and are typically unable to advocate for themselves. As a result they are easy targets when it comes time to reduce budgets.
I think a number of factors go into play. For one thing, suicide rates are higher in areas of economic and political crisis. For example, Greece used to have the lowest suicide rate in Europe, but since the financial collapse, it has had one of the highest. Probably another consideration is the availability of mental health care and crisis intervention, which is pretty weak in most countries. Additionally, in more interdependent cultures, it is hard to acknowledge personal needs when the normative value is on preserving balance within the social circle.
Some hotlines are twenty-four hours, but with budget cuts affecting all areas of mental health, there are fewer and fewer of them. Calls really vary throughout the day, but I would say that the morning seems to be a busy time from what I have observed and heard. When people wake up and realize that they are still depressed, still lonely, still stuck where they were yesterday, they often need some help getting the day started.
Our preventative nature often comes out in that callers reach out to us before reaching a high-risk mindset. They use us to blow off steam, to find someone who cares, to get a referral for a mental health professional. We certainly have callers who express suicidal thoughts or seem in imminent danger, but we are also very open to callers who simply need to have a conversation about the stresses and heartaches they are experiencing.
We will do our best to emotionally support the caller, to help them not feel alone. We will even offer to call an ambulance if there is a potential emergency. We will not stay on the phone, though, if it seems the callers is in the process of hurting themselves. It is important that callers understand that we are not there to listen to them kill themselves, but rather give them every chance to talk about their emotions and connect with a human being during a terrible time.
We have local and state funding as well as private donors. Honestly, I don't know much about that part of our organization.
Our service is completely anonymous for both the callers and the operators. Callers should feel they can speak to any operator and receive the same level of service. We do our best to be emotionally supportive of callers without forming individual bonds.
Honestly, I don't know about that beyond anecdotal evidence.
It isn't necessarily to be able to relate to a caller to provide emotional support. In fact it's better if you can listen from an objective standpoint. It can be difficult to keep focused on the person you're speaking with if your own stuff is coming up.
While preparing to apply to graduate school for work in the mental health field, I began looking for a volunteer or professional position that would give me an opportunity to gain clinical experience and test my own ability to do this type of work. When I first started at the hotline, I had never done anything of this nature before and it was a harrowing few weeks (really a few months) before I began to feel fully confident in my abilities.
The most common theme -- by far -- is loneliness. This sometimes stems from psychological issues that make it difficult for the individual to form social relationships. Often, though, the loneliness is a result of having lost a loved one or suffering a trauma that separates the individual from their social circle or they simply feel that their thoughts are too unacceptable to share with the people they love.
It happens on occasion. It's kind of annoying when it happens because you have to take every call seriously and really be 100% sure it's a prank. When it's completely clear what's going on, we'll just hang up. We don't call the cops.
If you look at earlier questions, you'll see that it depends if the hotline is anonymous or not. If it's anonymous, then no you wouldn't because the call can't be traced. If the hotline isn't anonymous, then yes you would call 911.
Anyone who is feeling suicidal should call a hotline, speak to a friend or family member, or go to the nearest emergency room. This isn't a counseling forum.
Basically you just contact a hotline near you (google "suicide prevention hotline" in your area) and let them know you are looking for a volunteer or paid position. I get paid, but a lot of hotlines are primarily volunteer. You don't need a particular degree at my hotline; we do have a lot of people who are studying social work or psychology. If you don't get an immediate response from a hotline after leaving a voicemail or email, remember these are nonprofits and the administrative side tends to be undermanned, so don't hesitate to contact them after a few days.
There have been a few times when it felt like the caller was in imminent danger and I was able to diffuse the situation. We try to be a calming presence focused on the caller, helping them to sort out the chaos or dark depression they are experiencing. More common is for a caller who is not yet suicidal but has a lot going on to feel the need to relieve the build up of emotional pressure before it explodes into a dangerous situation.
Some record will likely exist for training or research purposes. Depending on whether the hotline is anonymous or not, that record might be de-identified.
I can't recall that happening off the top of my head. I think a non-anonymous hotline would be required to report a specific, credible threat to the police. An anonymous hotline wouldn't be able to do so, but if the caller specified his (or hers!) or the victim's full name or address, then yeah, there probably would be a legal and moral obligation to do so.
In cases where the operators are not volunteers, I would imagine it's typically around minimum wage.
No, that would definitely not be allowed and would probably be offensive to non-Christian callers.
Knowing if you can live off what you want to do is definitely not a dumb question.
It really will depend on the hotline and the position. A lot of time the operators taking calls are volunteers. From the basic administrative positions and up, salaries will likely start at minimum wage. Remember these tend to be very poorly funded organizations that have to stretch every dollar to stay open.
Each hotline has its own specific training, so you should directly contact a hotline near you. My experience would likely be dramatically different from that of another trainee.
Yes, you do.
You'd be better off contacting a hotline directly and asking about training. I'm a little iffy about what I should share because I think it could potentially impact readers of this website who might need to call a hotline one day.
Some probably do, but I'm not familiar with any. I think that part of the benefit of the hotline is to really hear someone's voice there with you in the moment. There's something very removed about just reading words on a screen that, in my mind at least, seems less impactful.
I don't know about any stats like that. I would imagine anything that gives people a chance to think about a serious decision is a good thing.
I do enjoy helping people. I don't consider myself a hero. Like anything else you do regularly enough, this just becomes an ordinary part of your life.
Anyone who is feeling suicidal should call a hotline, speak to a friend or family member, or go to the nearest emergency room. This isn't a counseling forum.
I didn't. It probably depends on the hotline.
Our shifts are typically about five hours long. The number of calls varies, but usually twenty or so calls. Some of those calls might only be a few minutes long while others might go on for a half hour or more.
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